A friend visiting from Hong Kong and I were discussing his observations about Tokyo. He used to live here before moving to Hong Kong, and one thing he pointed out was that people on the trains here look sad. This was interesting, as it wasn’t the first time I’d heard this—I’ve seen similar comments on social media.

This got me thinking: has this become so normal to me that I don’t notice it anymore? Do people in Tokyo have a resting sad face? More importantly, have I developed that default sad look when I’m on the trains myself?

For me, it’s normal that the trains are quiet and nobody is talking. It’s normal that people mind their own business, many hooked on their smartphones. It’s normal that people don’t talk on their phones or watch videos without earphones. It’s normal that people are by themselves, often just going to or from work. If I see someone smiling or looking around, that feels abnormal—scary, even. I actively avoid eye contact with anyone and definitely avoid smiling at anyone.

These things are so normal to me now that when I travel abroad, they’re the first things I notice. The last time I was in the Philippines, I was surprised to see kids playing games on their iPads without earphones—and even more surprised that nobody seemed to mind. I was shocked that even adults were watching videos on their phones without earphones, and again, no one seemed bothered. People smiled and occasionally struck up conversations with strangers.

Maybe that’s something missing in Tokyo. Maybe people need to mind their own business less and be more aware of those around them—perhaps even start a conversation or two. Maybe people in Tokyo do need to smile more.

Then again, maybe that’s exactly what makes Tokyo what it is: a mindful, peaceful, and safe megacity. It’s an introvert’s paradise, where everyone minds their own business, and there’s no need to worry about small talk with strangers or the need to smile. This is true on trains, in elevators, in cafés, and in most public places.

When people do want to talk and loosen up, they usually go to drinking spots like izakayas or wine bars. In our neighborhood, there are many of these, and they’re always full of customers having a good time, often chatting with those around them. Even in parks, I see people—mostly the elderly—striking up conversations with strangers, talking about their dogs or kids.

The train, however, isn’t one of those places. To many, it’s just a way to get to and from work. On weekends, the trains feel a bit livelier, but during rush hour, it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone is minding their own business, perhaps taking some quiet time away from both family and work. It’s the ultimate me time.

For me, maybe I should be more mindful and actively maintain a neutral face. At least then, I won’t add to the general Tokyo sad face look.

What about you? What’s your default face when you’re alone in public?